A space to create, heal, motivate, teach, inspire and learn while seeking a deeper meaning about the things that truly move our souls. All the while creating a musical playlist to help explore the magic of a spiritual path~ feel free to come along and let your light shine on!!!
"Each one of us is merely a small instrument. When you look at the inner workings of electrical things often you see small and big wires, new and old, cheap and expensive, lined up. Until the current passes through them, there will be no light. That wire is you and me. The current is God. We have the power to let the current pass through us, use us, produce the light of the world. Or we can refuse to be used and allow darkness to spread." ~ Mother Teresa
I have been thinking about this a lot lately, we have the power and the choice to turn our lights on. The lights that have grown dim or have been turned off entirely for survival. The only way to do this is to move out of the mind, out of the fear and into the heart. The heart has the answers and yearns to live with complete freedom. What if each of us made the conscious choice to let our lights shine at their full capacity? The choice to greet each day as a new opportunity for love and experience? To look each person we greet in the eyes and say "hello" while our light illuminates from our being? What a beautiful world this would be?
Some would say Idealistic and I can see that~ however in my heart of hearts I know it is possible~ A new world of love and peace.
Can you greet one person today through your heart and not your mind? Standing tall in your vulnerability just long enough to let that moment of true connection charge your spirit?
I have spent the past week or so untangling the web that had wrapped around me. The clarity that results when you detach from drama is almost euphoric. On the flip side there is always the feeling or thought of ~ how could I have not known I was so wrapped up!!! But in staying true to the spiritual practice we must let any judgement go and meet ourselves where we are with love.The mantra "one day at a time" should apply to all of us because trying to be the best person we can be in this world proves to be a daily practice.
Outside of the fire I see my behaviors and how they were so telling as to the mental place I was in~ the constant trying to do something, the what is coming next, what to do next etc. The "doing" place should have been the signal to let me know that I was not present, was not content and was running away from something but in the end we all know we are running away from the truth inside of ourselves and the biggest motivator for the run always ends up being fear.
In Yoga practice we strive to just be, be one with ourselves, our life, this world. This can only be reached through detachment, when we are attaching to anything we are using our mind not our hearts. The old adage of "if you truly love something you can set it free" is true, attachments do not step from the heart they live only in our minds. So there you go~ my obsession with what to DO next and how it will be / look had me spinning in the fire of my mind and ego. Happiness and contentment cannot be found in that fire, happiness and contentment are not a state of mind they are a state of being. As I grab my surfboard to get up and ride the waves of life again I know that I will find myself on the shore at another place and time trying to control the waves, being in a place of resistance and I hope that time will be short lived.
I ask you this morning are you riding the waves of life or trying to control them? Are you living in the flow or the path of resistance?
Acceptance can be a very difficult task, especially when we are asked to accept something that we may not necessarily want or think we want. This is where the grip on the waves of life try with all their might to hold still and resist the flow. Although I can somewhat stand outside the fire of it all I teeter all too close finding it difficult to see any clarity. In a time when we may be asked to surrender why is there so much fear? Is it lack of faith or lack of knowing what is at the other end and are these actually the exact same thing?
I am afraid to make a move, to make a decision, I am troubled by a sort of paralysis in the forward momentum of my life. Where to turn? Where to go? How? I know that this is the moment of surrender, the moment when you are supposed to jump over the edge...but I cannot and I am stuck.
I have become somewhat obsessive about what is next, about what lies ahead, obsessive about something I cannot control. This forward thinking means one thing, I am not present, I am not in a place of love, I am not content and this saddens me deeply as my Fear has me blocked, has me stuck, has me troubled so I pray for grace, I pray for clarity, I pray for comfort and strength as I begin to try to dissolve the web of fear that surrounds me.
Can you accept the trials and joys of life with grace???
To return to the notion of finding your comfort or way into the stillness it is also in this place that we must do more than listen to begin to heal. In order for the big shift or A Ha to happen we must be willing to "see" our place within all of our interactions and relationships. We must be willing to "see" through lenses that are not available for the Ego to high jack! This is part of seeing ourselves through love, there is no wrong, no right, no he said, she said ~ it is just seeing what is. The Ego is our internal merry prankster and for a society that has been taught to look outward the Ego is VERY comfortable in a place of victim and uses many different masks to fool us into believing we are out of the Ego.
Life does not happen to us~ and if this is something we often feel than examining our role in our interactions is essential. When we talk about taking our power back this is where it ties in. There cannot be an interaction or relationship without 2 sides, you always have your part!!! If someone is "doing" something to you then you are choosing to allow that person to do it. You choose to stand or listen and take it~ walk away, hang up the phone, if you do not like something then make yourself unavailable to that situation. If you find you keep going back~ it is crucial to get out of the ego and into the heart to break the pattern. There is fear driving the force to keep you returning and the only place fear does not reside is in the heart.
If our society could try to put emphasis on holding one's self accountable for our role in our interactions instead of looking out at everyone and how it is affecting us~ we would change positively, we would heal as a world. Sounds big and fantasy like but I believe it.
Can you take an interaction that bothers you and "see" your part~ how are you involved in it and what can you do to take your power back and change it?
It is in the stillness that we hear the whispers of our hearts. This place pushes fear aside to reveal what lies beneath, what is bubbling just below the surface of our day to day "go go go" mentality. When we surrender to the stillness, the nothingness, we see hope, feel hope and breathe hope. Access hope and the perception is clear= happiness and freedom.
Take time to sit in silence, in your nothingness, in your fears and allow yourself to get swept away by glorious hope that is constantly trying to remind us that things can and will get better you just have to get out of your own damn way :)
Why are we so afraid or uneasy in the murk of our own darkness? I have chosen over the past week or so to try to control the impulse to speak, speak of my feelings in hopes of reaching a solution. This is a VERY uncomfortable place for me...for in the silence a voice lurks that I am very unfamiliar with. A voice whose comments are frightening a voice that I have squelched for so long that in truth has led me to where I am today. This voice leads me to believe or to feel as if I dwell in a prison that I have chosen. A prison created through fear, fear of not being loved, fear of rejection, fear of being alone with my own silence, alone with my darkness. I have chosen the path of love with others to help balance out my fear, love has been my escape. So it is common to hear how lucky I am, how fortunate to live the life I live. Lucky in love~ YES I agree however the darkness speaks a different story. I have given it no time to be autonomous so it continues to raise its ugly head to ask...what if you had been less impulsive, asked for more time~ more time for me??? What would you life look like? Would you have made the same decisions, chosen the same path? What if you had actually gotten to know me~ where would you have gone? Who could you have been? I chose to clip my wings out of fear of being autonomous that I alone was not good enough or enough. The exact opposite "picture" of my Dad's life but driven by the same fears.....
It was against everything I was taught to examine this part of your life, let alone lead by it. My Father chose a life of it, he left us, left his responsibilities ran as fast as he could from his light. So for me to be so bright journeying into the darkness where he lived was deemed cruel, wrong and selfish. So here I am on this path of self discovery learning that my squelched darkness literally boils up right under a very thin veil of silence. It wants to speak but how can I let it? I do not trust it, it has never led or made any decisions for me~ it is like a caged animal~ I have no clue what it will do.
My intuition says to keep listening, listen for signs of the truth a place where my dark and light convene, where my heart would agree.
I ask today~ does such a place exist? A place where the dark and light can reign together? A place where they create a balance? How do you get there, how do you find it without unraveling every piece of stone you have placed in the pathway of your life?
Lately I have found myself a tad stunned by the lack of faith I seem to have towards mankind. In reflecting back on my life this would make sense, people have disappointed me but if we are human then this would be part of the territory right? I wonder "how" I viewed mankind before and perhaps even now?
My faith has always been a part of me, it has comforted, provided a safe net to heal and definitely helped push me to carry on when I did not have many resources left to turn to. Have I been living with a disconnect between the two? Have I been holding people up to a certain level of standard? Perhaps one that is too high? Do I have any standard for people or do I expect nothing? Or could it be there is no separation and therefore I expect the same from people as I do God? If the latter is the truth than crap I do not know anyone who could sustain that level of standard? It appears I have some serious inquiry into how I see my fellow kind.
All of this inquiry has been prompted by my youngest son who has been my constant source of learning in regards to relying on and trusting other people, it is an uncomfortable place for me to be. In order to do this you have to leave room to be disappointed or this is how it seems right now. One of my big rules has been to have no expectations so that you will not be left disappointed~ but now I question how much of myself I actually put into the experience? If protection from disappointment has been a type of trigger how am I present, you have to bring some of yourself to be present right? While writing this I have spun myself into a tizzy...this web is very tangled and sticky!!! There is sorting out that needs to be done in order to reach some sort of level of clarity.....because at the moment I am lost in the muck of confusion.
What about you? Do you trust people as a rule of thumb, do you live your life with a sense of faith in others? How do you get over disappointment?
