Thursday, November 29, 2012

Against The Wind

While I was in college I was hanging out with a friend, shooting pool at the bar and Bob Seger's "Against the Wind" began playing on the jukebox. I was always fond of the song and of course love Bob Seger~ HELLO~ I am a Michigan girl tried and true :) During the song my friend looks over to me and says this is your song. A very poignant moment because years earlier a boyfriend had mentioned that U2's "Running to Stand Still" made him think of had there been no growth for me between sophomore year of high school and senior year of college. Seriously??? There had been growth but that fundamental part of myself that was always GOING GOING GOING was still there and standing proud. It wasn't until Dad died and I really hit the Yoga mat that I stopped Going or at least began to fight the need to always be busy doing god knows what. If I kept myself busy than I really never had to actually "see" and that was just fine for me, but there in lies the problem...who wants to be "just fine"? I fight this daily, some are better than others but it is still there, a silent ruler who directs my path and I do not realize I have been running this path until I am burnt out.

If we let our hearts rule and lead we should be running with the wind which would be so much more fun and exhilarating, right? I think about how much energy I would have and am enticed. I believe I had a slight taste of running with the wind this week. In a series of no shows, crossed communications, a VERY strong full Moon, no sleep and recovery from the flu I would usually be a complete sour bitch however I have found that my mind would like to go to that place but my heart and soul are winning, a very awkward place to sit. I almost want to be pissed off and victimized because that feels so much more normal ( and passionate therefore really alive you know? ) but I am not. Although all of these little " taking care of myself:" moments got shelved this week, moments that I had believed I needed, I have found nurturing in spaces I would have not had the opportunity to do or shall I say, allowed myself to do because I would have been "busy". So is this what the flow is like? Surrendering to what is: even when it is absolutely not what you would have thought or even thought you wanted?

My sis and I were speaking today about choosing the spiritual journey and how sometimes it can truly suck! Instead of liberation you feel raw and vulnerable, aware of everything to lose, because we are an EGO driven society. Through our heart liberation is key because through this process we are aware and see we already have everything we need and want there is no where to go but up, nothing to lose!!! Too bad it isn't this easy......

A friend of my sister's told her " EGO stands for Edging God Out" I LOVE this...but how profound and frankly scary for our society huh? We seem to be driven by Ego and Status-  I know so many that do amazing things for other people but then have to tell everyone else about it, a heart's work or Ego you tell me.

I am grateful that I seem to be running against a breeze at this point in time, I would take this over the wind any day.

Shine On


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot

I woke up the other morning with Sting's song "Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot" playing in my head. I have said previously that these things have become very common since my father passed on so I paid no attention per usual~ however the song just stayed there right in my mind's eye and I finally gave in. Not to mention I think I may have heard this song once or twice before in my life!!! ( on a side note I once woke up with just one part of an instrumental to a song and I spent the morning scouring I Tunes for the John Mayer song ~ it was imperative :)   Back on track we go ~ so my question is what does this Sting song have to do with me? OBVIOUSLY I am not letting my soul guide me huh?

I began to reflect on the times I truly have let my soul guide me, and there are not very many. Moving away from home, saying yes to my husband's proposal, and walking into my Yoga Teacher Training program are the 3 that stick out the most~only 3 times???? Seriously? Ugh
 I would like to believe that my soul guided me most often as a child but as I have aged I have quieted that voice so many times that it had become a distant memory. Which is part of the reason I am here writing today my soul's voice is back it has taken a good 6 years to get it but it is here and now it wants to lead so I say ~ Please go right ahead!!!

I knew at the age of 13 I was moving to North Carolina, there was absolutely no rational behind this knowing, when asked why I had chosen North Carolina I explained  it was because it is green. I figured it was warmer than Michigan too so that was it. I look back on that knowing at 34 and see that my soul was leading that arrangement. I had never been to North Carolina but knew in my entire being this was where I was headed the first chance I got ~ I was never fearful of the how, the when or why but just knew, and it felt fantastic. So with the very first chance I got I moved at 17 to go to college and have never gone back. My knowing was so strong in fact my ego finally started knocking on its door, because the truth is I was not happy here and could not figure out why in god's name did I have to come here? I created several options to leave and start a different life but something held me here....I now know my soul mate was there on that campus and although we had continued to cross paths the final path had not happened and I needed to stay for that. The irony is our final encounter was 2 months before graduation~ if I had known it would take that long my Sophmore year I so would have bailed! ha ha ha This is what I know exists when you follow your heart and soul and yet Fear still rears its ugly little head. After an experience like this happening to me why or why would I ever have doubt? Could it be the years of programming through Fear?

Thinking about it brings butterflies to the stomach but that just means I need to continue diving in. I yearn for that awesome place of peace that I had when I Knew where I was going , when my soul was my pilot and facing these fears is part of the path a BIG part of the path!

What times in your life did your soul guide you, just the heart and soul, the mind may be exempt from this question....?

Shine On


Monday, November 26, 2012

This is the Time

I was driving down the road the other day and I had an overwhelming sense of "enough is enough"~ and all that played in my head was "Let Love Rule". Music has always been and is an inspiration to me, musicians are so fortunate to be able to have a gift and use it to tap into their soul and let it shine, it has always helped me to access the areas that are guarded off. Ever since my Dad died I have woken up with songs in my head usually sending a message of some kind and this is what I got from this day.

It is the time to rise up and for all of us who can still access our light we HAVE TO SHINE IT!!!! And we have to SHINE IT NOW!!! Our society has a fundamental illness I like to call Beheadedness~ We are consistently walking around with our heads detached from our bodies and truth be told the powers of our society would like to keep it that way if you ask me. I am tired of the ill willed and soul sick and I have to help or at least try so here I am starting this blog with not a clue of what to do other than write. I am also tired of fighting against my own soul sickness and I need to feed the illness with love and so does everybody else. If we are all reflections of one another than how amazing would it be to see love everywhere?

Children see love everywhere and they learn from us the opposite. I do not want my children running against the same forces I have, they need to keep that heart access open so they can truly bloom and succeed in this world.

So there you have it~ In the wise words of Billy Joel "This Is The Time" and the time is going to change and I have to do my part whatever that may look like.