Learning to fly

The journey to self discovery has now taken on a different look ~ the journey to reclaiming self. This process has left me standing on the ground with my two feet wobbly like a toddler learning to walk. I know with all my being that the ground is a constant state of support for everyone and this time I am included in this statement. My mind is a clear state and I have a small sense of knowing so the next stage of this journey begins, I suppose I can move into self discovery, likes and dislikes, beliefs and so forth. I read in the Daily Love one morning that "pain is inevitable, suffering is my choice" this settle so deeply into my core. I had not realized that I chose to suffer, and the biggest aha of them all I chose this because I deserved it. Somewhere so deep on an unconscious level I deserved to suffer for my shortcomings for my fractured self, my lack of perfection. All of these thoughts and beliefs stemmed from my internal belief system of whether or not I have the right to be here, on this earth, in this life.

As a fatalist~ of course I have a right to be here or I would not have been!!! Right???? This everything happens for a reason had led my journey astray, when something good happens I am being a good girl however when something bad happens than I am being punished for being a bad girl. This ebb and flow of you are good and now you are bad has caused waves of suffering. I sit now for today in a place of things just happen, we are here to have experiences, the why, what or when of these experiences do not matter it is the "how" that makes up the juice or nourishment of life, how do we move through these experiences that we label good or bad? I sit for today because that is as far as I can get :)

Through the work in the Chakra system while working side by side in psychotherapy I have been able to get into the root chakra and reclaim my right to be here autonomous from my parents.....talk about LIBERATION!!! And there is a sense of unease too, I am learning to explore the world on my own and I will now have to seek out the mirrors that resonate most to me because I am an adult the elder in the house is now me :)

The thought for today is~ where is the root of your suffering, close your eyes and who do you see?

Namaste