A space to create, heal, motivate, teach, inspire and learn while seeking a deeper meaning about the things that truly move our souls. All the while creating a musical playlist to help explore the magic of a spiritual path~ feel free to come along and let your light shine on!!!
Do you practice what you teach? This seems to be such an obstacle for so many that are on a path to help heal others. How can you fully believe something if you have not embraced it yourself? It is in our nature to take things that inspire us , teach us, move us and roll with them, share them in order to help someone else.
I pose this question for examination: Helping others is in our nature, giving to others feels good, but why do we choose to opt out of our own teachings? What is it about our own esteem that holds us back from receiving the healing of our higher self?
It appears that we are moving into a sort of energetic slap in the face if you will. Our lives have been run by the first two Kleshas 1. Avidya (ignorance about the true nature of things) and 2.Asmita ( I-ness or egoism) and we are about to be rocked upside down. So get your shit together and let go of the strong grip to the rails. In a society so focused on "getting" : whether it be the guy, the house, the job, the kid, the car, the whatever our shadow side of "lack" is running the show. To continue to rise up from the suffering to choose a different path can you look inside and release the secrets, the lies, the false protections your ego has set up for you? I invite you to begin to unravel the control that you believe you have over this life? Are we able to make choices in this life ~ yes without question but when faced with a choice who makes it your heart or your mind (ego).....a wave is coming so get ready!!
The choice is yours~ try to ride the wave with a gentle sweetness for yourself or wait on the shore for the wave to smash into you....
During the last quarter of 2012 a new mantra developed in my mind "everyone deserves to be supported". Somewhere along the way "having it all together" became the thing or person to be, this seemed to be a way to show off our strength, strength of the inner ego. Where did this come from? Why was it so important or impressive to have the weight of the world on your shoulders? And then disillusion ourselves that we must really be succeeding since it wasn't bothering us? We can then continue to unravel this thread and tie it to all of the stress related illnesses floating around....so I ask are we succeeding? Can we carry it all? NO~ somewhere we lost the idea that we deserved to be supported.
As a Mother of 3 I am finally letting down my rigid guard and really embracing the idea of "it takes a village" because it does!!!! I need help, it is imperative, it is the only way we can all have our needs met and be healthy. This does not mean I am weak, or am in over my head, this means I am human and I recognize the importance of making sure everyone in my family is supported, even myself :)
We just traveled to Disney World for our first big family trip, and this mantra played over in my head many a time. It helps me to stay calm and centered when presented with some situations that can drum up frustration and anxiety. In most of the situations presented my ego begins screaming something to the tune of "what about me or my turn"....so I gently and with compassion repeat in my head "everyone deserves to be supported" and I am included in this statement as well.
Who do you lean on? Do you have a village or is it all on you? Depending on your answer I ask you to examine how you feel most of the time and would you like to change it?
Namaste
~and please enjoy one of my most favorite new artists~he is the real deal out there to help heal us all!!!!
The journey to self discovery has now taken on a different look ~ the journey to reclaiming self. This process has left me standing on the ground with my two feet wobbly like a toddler learning to walk. I know with all my being that the ground is a constant state of support for everyone and this time I am included in this statement. My mind is a clear state and I have a small sense of knowing so the next stage of this journey begins, I suppose I can move into self discovery, likes and dislikes, beliefs and so forth. I read in the Daily Love one morning that "pain is inevitable, suffering is my choice" this settle so deeply into my core. I had not realized that I chose to suffer, and the biggest aha of them all I chose this because I deserved it. Somewhere so deep on an unconscious level I deserved to suffer for my shortcomings for my fractured self, my lack of perfection. All of these thoughts and beliefs stemmed from my internal belief system of whether or not I have the right to be here, on this earth, in this life.
As a fatalist~ of course I have a right to be here or I would not have been!!! Right???? This everything happens for a reason had led my journey astray, when something good happens I am being a good girl however when something bad happens than I am being punished for being a bad girl. This ebb and flow of you are good and now you are bad has caused waves of suffering. I sit now for today in a place of things just happen, we are here to have experiences, the why, what or when of these experiences do not matter it is the "how" that makes up the juice or nourishment of life, how do we move through these experiences that we label good or bad? I sit for today because that is as far as I can get :)
Through the work in the Chakra system while working side by side in psychotherapy I have been able to get into the root chakra and reclaim my right to be here autonomous from my parents.....talk about LIBERATION!!! And there is a sense of unease too, I am learning to explore the world on my own and I will now have to seek out the mirrors that resonate most to me because I am an adult the elder in the house is now me :)
The thought for today is~ where is the root of your suffering, close your eyes and who do you see?
Can you accept yourself for being human? A bright shining spirit lives inside this container but when the light is not leading the way the humanness is~ can you meet yourself there with compassion? Have faith that when diving deeper you will become more and more connected and led by your light?
Can you accept those around you for being human? Your parents or caregivers if their lights were dim or hidden can you meet them there too without blame or fault?
Beyond all of this can you embrace yourself, those around you and your parents / caregivers? Embrace them for trying, for giving, for loving to the best of the ability a human can love through the perception of fear, the perception of just being human?
Behold yourself and those all around you for you and them, we are all human made up of spirit and love!
It has been said and told a number of ways~ if you do not love yourself first than you will not love anyone else. This is a great bit of information to know however if it doesn't fully immerse itself inside of your heart, it is just something to say. Something for your mind to say and agree with.
It appears that for the very first time in 34 years I feel worthy of love. I believed that I did not doubt whether or not someone loved me which is what I thought this whole notion was about but it appears I did not get it or only was able to comprehend this notion as far as my head could go :). Lately my ex boyfriend has been appearing quite frequently in my dreams, my husband and I spoke about it and what it could mean etc, it wasn't until I was driving to church that morning did I see why~ in my dreams, we would talk, connect about our lives as they are right now it was a strong connection, the connection we once had. When we were together I did not believe with all my heart that I was worthy of his love, I somehow did not stack up to the image that I believed he would need or want in order to give his heart. The truth is he did love me, all parts. This happened with my best friend this fall, I was talking, sharing my truth not my story and she was crying, crying for me~ I did not recognize what this was until this past Sunday, she loves me. None of this has ever connected, things can be say, people have problems, la la la but I apparently have believed that there was an imaginary line that you must hit in order to receive real love, you must prove you can have it. This is so wrong, all wrong. Trust is earned, respect is earned, admiration earned, Love is Given.
So it is now for the first time ever that I awake to Love for myself, for all parts~ good, bad and ugly. These parts are all me, I do not have to "be" a certain way, "do" certain things, "look" a specific way to receive love. I feel a little sick that I have gone this long in my relationship with love, I wasn't fully present with those that I have loved and do love, but I did not know, truly did not know because I wasn't present inside of my heart. I am now and I suppose that is what matters most, I have reached this place others live in, talk about, preach about and for my children this is the biggest gift of all.
I ask with love this question~ do you love yourself as a whole? And are you able to fully explore this question within your heart and outside of your head?
So 2012 is officially out the door and I am ecstatic! It could not have come sooner, I am open and well that is it, just open to what may be. The 4th quarter of 2012 was dedicated to Svadhyaya...this aspect does not seem to be going out the door and I am okay with that. I am continuing the pursuit of joy through the essence of love. I have attended many ceremonies where Corinthians 13:4-8 has been used especially at a marriage ceremony and each time I have heard it it has somehow lost its spark~ it was another love quote being said at the perfect time.(but who really lives that way right?) However today while I was driving I was thinking about my best friend and that quote came into mind. It is all true, when you are in a place of love, there is no arrogance, no judgement, no envy, it believes all things , hopes all things and so forth.
Lately I have been toying with the notion of listening with love, through love and have found this to be the most difficult. When we listen our audio tape of the ego begins to record and immediately feedback~ generally it comes back with narcissism or something to boost its esteem whether we are conscious of it or not. To listen through love, we must pause the tape, be still, truly open, listen and then let it be. How many times a day do you interject your opinion or tie someone's story or part of their story to yourself when you are supposed to be listening? Is it possible to actually listen if this reaction in the brain is happening? Most of the time something or some aspect of the story will light a spark, but what if you diffuse the next spark and stay still to listen? What happens then?
I know myself well enough that this will be practice for quite some time, I find myself saying things, or catching that tape often, so for now I will continue to practice and wait to be asked before I chime in. I will let things be~ There is no attachment through love it is freeing, all giving and I am curious to see what I will uncover when I begin to really listen this way~ free of judgement, envy, inadequacies, or whatever form my ego is pining after that day :)
